Watching a loved one struggle with dementia is an emotional challenge, particularly when you see them begin to refuse the care that they need. For many caregivers, this is one of the most heart-wrenching aspects of the role. Senior living communities help care for older adults with cognitive impairments by using a personal approach, providing families the peace of mind of knowing their loved ones receive the care they need.
How can you care for someone who won’t accept your help? When caregivers explore and understand the reasons behind care refusal, they can navigate these complex situations with empathy, effective communication, modifying the environment, resilience, seeking help, and self-care.
Why Do People with Dementia Refuse Care?
To effectively cope with a loved one refusing care, it’s crucial to understand the root causes of this behavior. Dementia is a progressive condition that affects memory, thinking, and behavior and can lead to a range of symptoms that can influence care refusal, such as the following:
- In the early stages, refusal of care is due to the desire to remain in control.
- Loss of insight and judgment can make the individual unaware of their need for care.
- Forgetting the names of family and friends can cause the person to become suspicious or fearful of those around them.
- Loss of interest in daily activities.
By recognizing that refusal of care is a symptom of their disease, caregivers can address the issue with practical strategies.
Practical Strategies for Approaching Refusal of Care
When a loved one with dementia refuses care, it’s essential to respond with patience and understanding. Here are actionable tips to guide you through these challenging moments.
Approach with Empathy
Try to see the situation from your loved one’s perspective. Behavioral symptoms in dementia can include frustration, fear, or confusion. Empathetic responses can help reduce resistance. For example, if your loved one refuses a bath, acknowledge their feelings before explaining why it’s necessary: “I understand; bathing can feel unusual. Why don’t we start with a foot soak?”
Communicate Clearly & Simply
Use gentle, non-confrontational language. Give one instruction at a time, using a calm, soothing voice. When possible, explain the reasons why they should do something or provide physical demonstrations of what you’re asking. Complex, rushed, elderspeak, and negative communication can lead to more confusion and refusals of care.
Modify the Environment
Create a calm, comforting space for care activities. Reduce noise, eliminate clutter, and keep distractions to a minimum to help your loved one feel more secure and open to care. Also, choose a time in the day when they are more relaxed to provide care.
Don’t Give Up
Don’t give up, but accept your limitations. Dementia can progress and require more care beyond what you, the caregiver, can provide. Do what you can, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed.
Seek Professional Help & Support
Caring for someone with dementia is not something you need to do alone. Healthcare professionals can offer valuable guidance and support in handling care refusals. It’s important to:
- Build a strong network of healthcare providers who specialize in dementia care.
- Attend support groups to connect with others who are facing similar challenges.
- Access resources tailored to dementia caregivers, such as books, online forums, and local services.
Remember, as the caregiver, your well-being is just as important as that of your loved one.
Self-Care for Caregivers
In caregiving, it’s easy to neglect the caregiver’s needs. However, self-care is vital for maintaining your own health and well-being, allowing you to continue supporting a loved one.
Healthy Lifestyle Choices
Eat nutritious foods, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. These practices can help reduce stress and maintain your physical health.
Time for Yourself
Make time for activities you enjoy, whether it’s reading, meditating, or taking a walk. It can help you recharge mentally and emotionally. Consider respite care to give yourself the rest needed from caregiving.
Relaxation-Building Techniques
Develop strategies for relaxation and to relieve stress, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or journaling. These can help you manage the emotional toll of caregiving.
Rely on Your Support System
Don’t hesitate to lean on friends, family, or support groups for help and encouragement. Sharing your experiences and feelings with others can provide a sense of community and relieve some of the isolation caregivers often feel.
Memory Care for Loved Ones with Dementia
Coping with a loved one’s refusal of care in the context of dementia is undoubtedly one of the most challenging and emotional aspects of caregiving. However, with strategies such as understanding, patience, and support, you can address these challenges.
Remember that professional guidance and self-care are crucial components of managing care refusal. By creating a supportive network and prioritizing your well-being, you can provide the love and care your loved one truly needs.
If you have a loved one with dementia, contact The Enclave of Scarborough to learn more about our memory program and compassionate approach to bringing stability and security to those with dementia.
