Supporting aging parents with siblings can be challenging. Dealing with your emotions, reconciling different perspectives, and handling intricate family dynamics can complicate an already complex situation.
But by collaborating on responsibilities, promoting open dialogue, dividing tasks according to each person’s abilities, and considering long-term senior care options when necessary, you and your siblings can provide the care and support your parents need.
There are no one-size-fits-all answers because each family is unique. So, the most important thing to remember is that you’re family and treat each other with compassion and empathy throughout the journey—especially when the family must have potentially difficult conversations.
Aligning with Your Siblings
Before embarking on the caregiving journey, engage in an open dialogue with your siblings. Confirm everyone’s understanding of your parents’ needs, health status, and required level of care.
Set explicit expectations and allocation of duties. This planning might involve appointing one main caregiver, but it should always be a collective endeavor. Addressing these concerns upfront minimizes the chances of later misunderstandings or resentment.
Promote Transparent & Open Dialogue
Effective communication is the foundation of successful caregiving. This communication requires having consistent conversations with your siblings about your parents’ health, modifications in their needs, or any concerns you may have.
Ensure everyone feels included, and be receptive to feedback and suggestions. Establishing a shared digital document or group chat can safeguard everyone’s understanding and prevent significant details from being missed.
Accommodate Everyone’s Strengths
When siblings unite to care for aging parents, they often bring varied skills, experiences, and preferences to the process. Some may be proficient at managing medical aspects, while others might thrive in providing emotional support.
Allocating tasks based on each individual’s skills will ensure that your parents receive comprehensive care. Recognize the challenges of caregiving and support each other in preserving a balanced work-life situation.
Explore Assisted Living
Sometimes, caring for an aging parent at home is too taxing despite your best intentions. Assisted living communities allow your parents to retain their independence while receiving the necessary assistance in their daily lives.
If you’re investigating assisted living, make sure to tour various communities, ask pertinent questions, and evaluate the level of care your parents require. At The Enclave of Scarborough, we offer multiple services and experiences to keep your loved one engaged.
We also offer a range of amenities like housekeeping, linen services, accessible transportation, a fully-equipped fitness center, and a communal dining room.
Working Effectively with Your Siblings
Caring for your senior parents doesn’t have to rest solely on one sibling. A successful caregiving experience involves cooperation and a clear division of duties. Here are some strategies for effective collaboration with your siblings:
- Divide responsibilities: Allocate tasks based on each person’s skills, whether managing finances, handling medical appointments, or providing emotional support.
- Stay adaptable: Circumstances evolve, and caregiving needs change over time. Be prepared to modify the plan as necessary and support each other when challenges arise
- Share the emotional burden: Caring for aging parents can be emotionally demanding. Regularly check in and provide mutual emotional support. By being proactive and understanding, siblings can collaborate to provide the best care for their parents.
Understanding the 40-70 Rule for Aging Parents
The “40-70 Rule” suggests when adult children should start considering their aging parents’ care more seriously. If you are 40, then your parents are likely around 70 years old, so it’s an ideal time to contemplate the likelihood that your parents may need help in the near future.
Preemptive planning and open conversations about your parents’ preferences can simplify difficult decisions later.
Which Sibling Should Take Care of Elderly Parents?
There’s no definitive answer to this question. The best approach is for siblings to share the responsibilities based on their strengths, schedules, and geographic proximity. The most practical option is often for the sibling living closest to the parents to take on more immediate caregiving while others provide financial, emotional, or logistical support from afar.
But communication is vital—ensure each sibling knows what’s expected so that no one feels overwhelmed or unsupported.
Prioritizing Your Wellbeing
While fulfilling, caregiving for aging parents can be emotionally, physically, and mentally challenging. Priming self-care, developing healthy boundaries, and seeking help when required are vital. Here are a few tips:
- Create boundaries: Set clear boundaries with your parents and other family members to avoid burnout.
- Seek help: Don’t hesitate to assign tasks to other family members or hire professional caregivers.
- Take rest: Schedule regular time off to rejuvenate. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
- Find support: Join caregiver support groups or speak with a counselor if you’re feeling emotionally burdened—by looking after yourself, you’ll be better equipped to care for your parents.
Supporting Your Aging Parents
Navigating the complexities of caring for your aging parents can be tricky, but remember, you’re not alone. At The Enclave of Scarborough, we provide a compassionate, supportive setting where your parents can receive the care they deserve.
With varied services tailored to meet each resident’s individual needs, we’re here to support you and your family. Contact us today to explore how we can assist your family in providing the best care for your aging parents.
